Phil's

When in Sin

2008-05-09T09:12:00.002-06:00

When during the day, I start to realize I'm far from God and slowly giving in to more and more compromise and sin, there is in me an inclination to say, "Well I'm already this far in. It's hopeless. Maybe tomorrow will be better after a hopefully better morning devotional time." Or it's an inclination to say, "I need to draw my heart more towards God, pray more, be more spiritual, etc. so I can get back to God."

No, no, no! "If you tarry till you're better, you will never come at all." He stands ready to forgive right now (Neh 9:17). Jesus always lives to make intercession for those who draw near to God through him (Heb 7:25). Jesus is saying, "Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me" (Rev 3:20, ESV). "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9).

See also Don't Tarry Till You're Better post at Reformation Theology blog.

Fearing Suffering

2008-01-19T13:10:00.000-07:00

I have been listening to the world's notions of suffering and I didn't realize it. I thought I was thinking biblically.

I've often thought, "Since even the strongest men in the world have faced the kind of suffering I fear & were especially averted to it, how could I, weak as I am, ever endure that suffering? I may be placing myself in closer danger of the world's worst kinds of suffering, the kind which, when it happens, is told & retold in news & stories because of how bad it is."

But the Spirit who inspired the Scriptures and opens my eyes to them tells me, "Since the weakest in the world have also faced the kind of suffering you fear and endured it, how couldn't you, O you of little faith? For the same power that worked in them is also yours in Christ Jesus. No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. Know that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world."

The Scriptures use the exact same initial premise as I did but to make just the opposite conclusion...
Premise: Others in the world are experiencing horrific suffering.
My conclusion: Since the strongest among them cannot endure, what hope have I?
The Scriptures' conclusion: Since among them the weakest (your brothers) are enduring, your weakness is a prime condition for my power.

"No [trial] has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be [tested] beyond your ability, but with the [trial] he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it" (1 Cor 10:13).

"Resist [the devil], firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you" (1 Pet 5:9).

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" (2 Cor 12:9).

"Some were tortured, refusing to accept release, so that they might rise again to a better life. Others suffered mocking and flogging, and even chains and imprisonment. They were stoned, they were sawn in two, they were killed with the sword. They went about in skins of sheep and goats, destitute, afflicted, mistreated--of whom the world was not worthy--wandering about in deserts and mountains, and in dens and caves of the earth" (Heb 11:35-38). "made strong out of weakness" (34c).

So, how does it work? How does the Spirit help me to suffer and die well? Does the pain fade away during suffering? Is the grace a numbing of pain?

Go your way, Phil. My grace is sufficient for you. It will be enough in the moment.

Faith through a Christian Hedonist's Eyes

2007-11-20T15:57:00.000-07:00

Now to the one who strictly denies himself and seeks not his own pleasure, his self-denial is counted by others as intrinsic altruism. But to the one who seeks his own pleasure and denies himself only to seek what is better, his pursuit is counted by God as Christ's righteousness, and the Object of his desire is shown to be intrinsically valuable. (sentence structure: cf. Romans 4:4-5; theology: Luke 9:23-25; Mark 10:28-30; Hebrews 11:24-26; 12:2; 1 Timothy 4:8; 6:6; Psalm 37:4; Psalm 16:11; 2 Corinthians 5:21; Matthew 13:44)

Observations about Prayer: Jesus' Words in Luke 22

2007-11-20T15:37:00.000-07:00

(Before reading the bullet points, note the words in brackets. Try to predict which word nuances I bring out in the bullet points, and make your own observations too...)

"'Simon, Simon, behold, Satan demanded to have you [all], [in order] that he might sift you [all] like wheat, but I have prayed for you [specifically] [in order] that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers'" (Luke 22:31-32, ESV).

Satan demanded all 12, but Jesus prayed for Peter in particular (first two occurrences of "you" are plural; third "you" and "your" are singular).
Jesus prayed not a prayer of content "that your faith may not fail" (e.g. "I pray your faith doesn't fail."), but a prayer of purpose "[in order] that your faith [will] not fail" (e.g. "I pray in order to result in your faith not failing.").
This prayer was not just hopeful for an uncertain outcome, but rather the prayer was effectual: "when [not if] you have turned again, strengthen your brothers."

"'[P]ray that you may not enter into temptation'" (v. 40 or v. 46).

The ESV translates this part of v. 40 & 46 identically, but they are more literally translated, respectively:

"'Pray to not enter into temptation" (v. 40).
"'[P]ray in order that you will not enter into temptation'" (v. 46).

The implication is that the verses seem to say:

"Pray you don't enter into temptation" (v. 40).
"Pray. That way you won't enter into temptation" (v. 46).

And into what temptation was Jesus warning them not to enter? Sleep (v. 45). So, with this specific application, the commands communicate:

"Pray you don't fall asleep."
"Pray. That way you won't fall asleep."

O for a Thousand Lives to Give

2007-11-20T15:28:00.000-07:00

My plea to God (with explanatory, but unsung, words in brackets):

O for a thousand lives to give [to missions]
[for] their great Redeemer's praise,
[lives reflecting] the glories of my God and King,
[lives which are] the triumphs of his grace.

Our gracious Master and our God,
assist us to proclaim,
to spread through all the earth abroad
the honors of thy name.

Mordecai on Evangelism (Esther 4:13-14, Part II)

2007-10-29T22:21:00.000-06:00

Mordecai on Missions (Esther 4:13-14, Part I)

2007-10-28T14:28:00.000-06:00

“Then Mordecai told them to reply to Esther, ‘Do not think to yourself that in the king’s palace you will escape any more than all the other Jews. For if you keep silent at this time, relief and deliverance will rise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father's house will perish. And who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?’” (Esther 4:13-14).

Do not think to yourself that in America you will escape the bloodguilt of the unreached any more than believers living among them will (consider the watchman on the wall: Ezekiel 33:1-9). For if you neglect the unreached at this time, then the prayers (see footnote 1), financial support(2), and proclamation of salvation(3) for the nations will come from another place (guaranteed: Revelation 5:9; 7:9)(4), but you will forfeit all the promised missionary's rewards(5) and enjoining the pleasure of the missionary God(6). And who knows but that you were born in America with so informed an education, such a wealth of opportunities, such access to wealth, such political freedom, and all that God has entrusted you with—all these for such a time as this(7)? Who knows but that the calamities that brought refugees to our cities and foreign poverty that brought immigrants are for this very purpose(8)?

(1) “pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest” (Luke 10:2; cf. Matthew 9:37-38).

(2) “Beloved, it is a faithful thing you do in all your efforts for these brothers, strangers as they are, who testified to your love before the church. You will do well to send them on their journey in a manner worthy of God. For they have gone out for the sake of the name, accepting nothing from the Gentiles. Therefore we ought to support people like these, that we may be fellow workers for the truth” (3 John 5-8).

(3) “How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching? And how are they to preach unless they are sent? As it is written, ‘How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!’” (Romans 10:14-15).

(4) “by your blood you ransomed people for God from every tribe and language and people and nation” (Revelation 5:9; cf. 7:9).

(5) “Jesus said, ‘Truly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands, for my sake and for the gospel, who will not receive a hundredfold now in this time, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions, and in the age to come eternal life’” (Mark 10:29-30; cf. Matthew 19:29).
“For what is our hope or joy or crown of boasting before our Lord Jesus at his coming? Is it not you? For you are our glory and joy” (1 Thessalonians 2:19-20); “[hold] fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain” (Philippians 2:1; cf. 2 Corinthians 1:14; Philippians 4:1); “I do it all for the sake of the gospel, that I may share with them in its blessings” (1 Corinthians 9:23); “But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession, and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of him everywhere” (2 Corinthians 2:14); Romans 15:16-21

(6) “Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom” (Luke 12:32)

(7) “May God be gracious to us and bless us and make his face to shine upon us, that your way may be known on earth, your saving power among all nations” (Psalm 67:1-2); “I will bless you and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing” (Genesis 12:2).

(8) “God meant [evil] for good, to bring about that many people should be kept alive” (Genesis 50:20; cf. 45:4-8).
Other examples where God spreads his fame to other nations or brings other nations into Israel: Israelite slave girl (2 Kings 5:2-3), Naaman the Syrian (2 Kings 5:8-19), Rahab the prostitute (Joshua 2:8-13), Ruth the Moabite.

Worshiping with the Word & Praising by Proclaiming

2007-10-09T23:14:00.000-06:00

There is a passion accompanying preaching powerful words from Scripture. It can be used rightly or wrongly:

The arrogant fool is "wise in his own eyes" (Proverbs 26:12; cf. 3:7), exulting as though his wisdom is his own, not received (1 Corinthians 4:7).

The humble man does not lean on his own understanding but in all his ways acknowledges the LORD (Proverbs 3:5), exulting in the "wisdom [which] is pleasure to a man of understanding" (10:23). As he heralds the glory and majesty of God, his heart thrills and "From the fruit of his mouth a man is satisfied with good" (12:14). This is the essence of expository exultation.

Reflections on Matthew 6:1-6, 16-18

2007-09-21T11:37:00.000-06:00

Matthew 6:1-6,16-18 can be broken up into 4 sections:

Concerning "acts of righteousness":
1"Be careful not to do your 'acts of righteousness' before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven."
Concerning giving to the needy:
2"So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. 3But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
Concerning prayer:
5"And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. 6But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
Concerning fasting:
16"When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show men they are fasting. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. 17But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, 18so that it will not be obvious to men that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

To follow my train of thought, please now read my spreadsheet on Matt 6:1-18.

What stood out to me especially is three types of hypocrisy. The first and most obvious is what Jesus describes the hypocrites as doing: actively seeking the praise of men through their deeds instead of seeking the Father's reward. (side note: He doesn't contrast their hypocrisy of doing "righteous deeds" to seek man's praise with doing righteousness for the sake of doing righteousness in some disinterested way. He instead contrasts hypocrisy with the right way: still seeking reward, but from the Father not from men. I tell you, I'm sold on "The Weight of Glory" and Christian Hedonism, not because C.S. Lewis and John Piper are so smart, but because they just explain well [in my opinion] what the Bible already teaches.)

Anyway, the first and most obvious hypocrisy is seeking the praise of men through these deeds. This, I am regularly guilty of in other areas, speaking of things I would not otherwise have said, but in such cases people think I'm smart, or spiritual, or suffering, etc.

The second hypocrisy would be to read these three passages in Matthew and go obey Jesus to the "T". For example, I might refrain from announcing my giving with trumpets, but I still seek the praise of men by "accidentally" making my "secret" giving known. Or I might avoid praying prayers on street corners, but I find ways to make sure a friend knows how long I prayed in private in my room. I might know better than to disfigure my face, but I wash it so well, people have to ask me why. Ok, maybe we're more subtle than that, but we find ways to slip in indications that we are doing "acts of righteousness." This is the obvious quintessence of Phariseeism; following the command to the "T," while missing the entire point.

It would seem then, that the solution is to follow the principle behind each of the three acts of righteousness. But even in following the apparent principle lies another danger of hypocrisy. This hypocrisy is the third, and in my opinion, most subtle (and therefore most dangerous). It consists in seeking out the apparent principle (and so convincing yourself you're not a Pharisee), and making that the rule to live by (and so remaining a Pharisee).

Here's an example: Let's say I'm fasting and I read that I should wash my face and avoid disfiguring it. Moreover, I realize I would just be a Pharisee to merely do those things while still finding subtle ways to let others know I'm fasting. So, I recognize a principle, namely that I should not let anyone know I'm fasting by any means whatsoever. And so I heed my newfound principle. The hypocrisy here is that my so-called principle turned out to be just another rule, and I've ended up being a Pharisee after all. I've missed the driving principle that unites the three examples of righteous acts Jesus describes, and I've settled for a "principle" which only applies to fasting (namely "don't let others know you're fasting").

I have learned that this third hypocrisy CANNOT be defeated by trying to come up with all possibilities of subtlely making known my otherwise secret deed and then not doing any of those possibilities. For sin always finds a way I haven't thought of. Rather, this error can only be overcome by truly seeking the reward the Father gives (whatever that be) and counting His reward of greater worth than the praise of men (cf. Hebrews 11:26). If we seek the praise of men, it will be our FULL reward (meaning no reward from the Father). So, the apparent driving principle behind Jesus' three examples is not "don't let others know your 'act of righteousness'" but rather "seek the reward the Father gives instead of the praise of men" (cf. John 5:44).

I'm realizing that when we draw out the driving principle Jesus is getting at, we are so free to follow that principle, we might even "disobey" the example in obedience to the principle. Examples might entail the following (these may be poor examples, but you can probably come up with better ones): After examining his heart to see if he's seeking the Father's reward and not man's praise, a pastor might flat out declare to his congregation that he is fasting and praying about some particular need in order to lead by example and so encourage others to do likewise or similarly. In such a case, the Father's reward for this pastor may even consist in his congregation's obedience, besides the reward that awaits him after the Judgment. Another example might be praying on a street corner in an atheistic society (unlike the religious atmosphere of Jesus' day), where there is no praise from men, only insult, but with the result that people observing see miraculous prayers answered (maybe even healings in their presence).

How Long the West Has Had the Gospel

2007-06-08T10:55:00.000-06:00

From Hudson Taylor's autobiography:

On one occasion I was preaching the glad tidings of salvation through the finished work of Christ, when a middle-aged man stood up, and testified before his assembled countrymen to his faith in the power of the Gospel.

“I have long sought for the Truth,” said he earnestly, “as my fathers did before me; but I have never found it. I have traveled far and near, but without obtaining it. I have found no rest in Confucianism, Buddhism, or Taoism; but I do find rest in what I have heard here tonight. Henceforth I am a believer in Jesus.”

This man was one of the leading officers of a sect of reformed Buddhists in Ningpo. A short time after his confession of faith in the Saviour there was a meeting of the sect over which he had formerly presided. I accompanied him to that meeting, and there, to his former co-religionists, he testified of the peace he had obtained in believing. Soon after, one of his former companions was converted and baptized. Both now sleep in Jesus. The first of these two long continued to preach to his countrymen the glad tidings of great joy. A few nights after his conversion he asked how long this Gospel had been known in England. He was told that we had known it for some hundreds of years.

“What!” said he, amazed; “is it possible that for hundreds of years you have had the knowledge of these glad tidings in your possession, and yet have only now come to preach it to us? My father sought after the Truth for more than twenty years, and died without finding it. Oh, why did you not come sooner?”

A whole generation has passed away since that mournful inquiry was made; but how many, alas! Might repeat the same question today? More than two hundred millions in the meanwhile have been swept into eternity, without an offer of salvation. How long shall this continue, and the Master’s words, “To every creature,” remain unheeded?

Proverbs 24:11-12

2007-06-08T10:49:00.000-06:00

From Hudson Taylor's autobiography:

I went into the cabin of the boat to prepare tracts and books for distribution on landing with my Chinese friend, when suddenly I was startled by a splash and a cry from without. I sprang on deck, and took in the situation at a glance. Peter was gone! The other men were all there, on board, looking helplessly at the spot where he had disappeared, but making no effort to save him. A strong wind was carrying the junk rapidly forward in spite of a steady current in the opposite direction, and the low lying, shrubless shore afforded no landmark to indicate how far we had left the drowning man behind.

I instantly let down the sail and leapt overboard in the hope of finding him. Unsuccessful, I looked around in agonizing suspense, and saw close to me a fishing boat with a peculiar drag net furnished with hooks, which I knew would bring him up.

“Come!” I cried, as hope revived in my heart. “Come and drag over this spot directly; a man is drowning just here!”

“Veh bin” (It is not convenient), was the unfeeling answer.

“Don’t talk of convenience!” cried I in an agony; “a man is drowning, I tell you!”

“We are busy fishing,” they responded, “and cannot come.”

“Never mind your fishing,” I said, “I will give you more money than many a day’s fishing will bring; only come—come at once!”

“How much money will you give us?”

“We cannot stay to discuss that now! Come, or it will be too late. I will give you five dollars” (then worth about thirty shillings in English money).

“We won’t do it for that,” replied the men. “Give us twenty dollars, and we will drag.”

“I do not possess so much: do come quickly and I will give you all I have!”

“How much may that be?”

“I don’t know exactly, about fourteen dollars.”

At last, but even then slowly enough, the boat was paddled over, and the net let down. Less than a minute sufficed to bring up the body of the missing man. The fisherman were clamorous and indignant because their exorbitant demand was delayed while efforts at resuscitation were being made. But all was in vain—life was extinct.

To myself this incident was profoundly sad and full of significance, suggesting a far more mournful reality. Were not those fishermen actually guilty of this poor Chinaman’s death, in that they had the means of saving him at hand, if they would but have used them? Assuredly they were guilty. And yet, let us pause ere we pronounce judgment against them, lest a greater than Nathan answer, “Thou art the man.” Is it so hard-hearted, so wicked a thing to neglect to save the body? Of how much sorer punishment, then, is he worthy who leavest the soul to perish, and Cain-like says, “Am I my brother’s keeper?” The Lord Jesus commands, commands me, commands you, my brother, and you, my sister. “Go,” says He, “Go ye into all the world, and preach the Gospel to every creature.” Shall we say to Him, “No, it is not convenient”? shall we tell Him that we are busy fishing and cannot go? That we have bought a piece of ground and cannot go? That we have purchased five yoke of oxen, or have married, or are engaged in other and more interesting pursuits, and cannot go? Ere long “we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ; that every one may receive the things done in his body.” Let us remember, let us pray for, let us labor for the unevangelized Chinese; or we shall sin against our own souls. Let us consider who it is that has said, ‘If thou forbear to deliver them that are drawn unto death, and those that are ready to be slain; if thou sayest, Behold, we knew it not; doth not He that pondereth the heart consider it? And He that keepeth thy soul, doth not he know it? And shall not He render to every man according to his works?”

[The NASB reads, "Deliver those who are being taken away to death, And those who are staggering to slaughter, Oh hold them back. If you say, 'See, we did not know this,' Does He not consider it who weighs the hearts? And does He not know it who keeps your soul? And will He not render to man according to his work?"]

“Through midnight gloom for Macedon,
The cry of myriads as of one;
The voiceful silence of despair
Is eloquent in awful prayer:
The soul’s exceeding bitter cry,
‘Come o’er and help us, or we die.’”

“How mournfully it echoes on,
For half the earth is Macedon;
These brethren to their brethren call,
And by the Love which loves them all,
And by the whole world’s Life they cry,
‘O ye that live, behold we die!’”

“By other sounds the world is won
Than that which wails from Macedon;
The roar of gain is round it rolled,
Or men unto themselves are sold,
And cannot list the alien cry,
‘O hear and help us, lest we die!’”

“Yet with that cry from Macedon
The very call of Christ rolls on:
‘I come; who would abide My day,
In yonder wilds prepare My way;
My voice is crying in their cry,
Help ye the dying, lest ye die.’”

“Jesus, for men of Man the Son,
Yea, Thine the cry from Macedon;
Oh, by the kingdom and the power
And glory of Thine advent hour,
Wake heart and will to hear their cry;
Help us to help them, lest we die.”

God's Glory Revealed

2007-03-22T09:36:00.000-06:00

Sometimes, when I try to contemplate, envision, or picture God's glory, I just think of Old Testament images: God's glory filling the temple like smoke, Ezekiel's peculiar vision of the rainbow and wheels around the appearance of the likeness of the glory of God, etc. However, some other verses (NT & OT) have started to convince me that God reveals His glory in less tangibly visible ways, but which are nonetheless His glory:

And the angel of the LORD [whom I believe is God incarnate] appeared to him in a flame of fire out of the midst of a bush (Exo 3:2)

And the LORD appeared again at Shiloh, for the LORD revealed himself to Samuel at Shiloh by the word of the LORD (1Sa 3:21)

[Jesus turned water into wine in John 2:1-10] This, the first of his signs, Jesus did at Cana in Galilee, and manifested his glory. And his disciples believed in him (Joh 2:11)

Jesus said to her, "Did I not tell you that if you believed you would see the glory of God?" ... When he had said these things, he cried out with a loud voice, "Lazarus, come out." The man who had died came out (Joh 11:40,43,44)

[The Bible also often says that no one can see God and His glory, and live. Yet, these New Testament verses indicate that many have seen God and His glory:]

And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth (Joh 1:14)

No one has ever seen God; the only God, who is at the Father's side, he has made him known (Joh 1:18)

Philip said to him, "Lord, show us the Father, and it is enough for us." Jesus said to him, "Have I been with you so long, and you still do not know me, Philip? Whoever has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, 'Show us the Father'?" Do you not believe that I am in the Father and the Father is in me? The words that I say to you I do not speak on my own authority, but the Father who dwells in me does his works (Joh 14:8-10)

And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord... (2Co 3:18)

the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God... For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ (2Co 4:4,6)

He is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature (Heb 1:3)

He is the image of the invisible God (Col 1:15)

I Will Help Thee

2007-01-16T09:24:00.000-07:00

From Spurgeon's "Morning and Evening":

January 16
Morning

“I will help thee, saith the Lord.”
- Isa 41:14

This morning let us hear the Lord Jesus speak to each one of us: “I will help thee.” “It is but a small thing for me, thy God, to help thee. Consider what I have done already. What! not help thee? Why, I bought thee with my blood. What! not help thee? I have died for thee; and if I have done the greater, will I not do the less? Help thee! It is the least thing I will ever do for thee; I have done more, and will do more. Before the world began I chose thee. I made the covenant for thee. I laid aside my glory and became a man for thee; I gave up my life for thee; and if I did all this, I will surely help thee now. In helping thee, I am giving thee what I have bought for thee already. If thou hadst need of a thousand times as much help, I would give it thee; thou requirest little compared with what I am ready to give. ‘Tis much for thee to need, but it is nothing for me to bestow. ‘Help thee?’ Fear not! If there were an ant at the door of thy granary asking for help, it would not ruin thee to give him a handful of thy wheat; and thou art nothing but a tiny insect at the door of my all-sufficiency. ‘I will help thee.’“

O my soul, is not this enough? Dost thou need more strength than the omnipotence of the United Trinity? Dost thou want more wisdom than exists in the Father, more love than displays itself in the Son, or more power than is manifest in the influences of the Spirit? Bring hither thine empty pitcher! Surely this well will fill it. Haste, gather up thy wants, and bring them here-thine emptiness, thy woes, thy needs. Behold, this river of God is full for thy supply; what canst thou desire beside? Go forth, my soul, in this thy might. The Eternal God is thine helper!

“Fear not, I am with thee, oh, be not dismay’d!
I, I am thy God, and will still give thee aid.” [from "How Firm a Foundation"]

Delayed Gratification

2007-01-14T11:52:00.000-07:00

"If in this life only we have hoped in Christ, we are of all people most to be pitied" (1 Corinthians 15:19).

If that's true, then the life lived in hope of Christ that Paul speaks of is a life whose satisfactions are not in this life, at least less so than all other people's lives. As for all other people, namely nonbelievers, who live not for the future after this life, but at best for the future in this life (e.g. retirement, storing up savings, etc.)--as for them, "they have received their reward" (Mt. 6:2,5,16).

"woe to you who are rich, for you have received your consolation. Woe to you who are full now, for you shall be hungry. Woe to you who laugh now, for you shall mourn and weep. Woe to you, when all people speak well of you, for so their fathers did to the false prophets" (Luke 6:24-26).

I propose "delayed gratification." Delayed lifelong, that is.

"Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of God. Blessed are you who are hungry now, for you shall be satisfied. Blessed are you who weep now, for you shall laugh. Blessed are you when people hate you and when they exclude you and revile you and spurn your name as evil, on account of the Son of Man! Rejoice in that day, and leap for joy, for behold, your reward is great in heaven; for so their fathers did to the prophets" (Luke 6:21-23).

Woe to those whose hope is in this life! For they may gain everything could want on earth, but that's the best they ever get (Mt. 16:26).

Evangelism's Success in America

2006-12-24T09:51:00.000-07:00

Who will not admit that the Gospel in America is not making the headway it has seen in the past? Tim Keller describes this problem well in his message "The Supremacy of Christ and the Gospel in a Postmodern World" at the 2006 Desiring God National Conference. It seems that in America, Jesus words are coming true already: "the love of many will grow cold" (Matthew 24: ).

But should we expect any different? We are a nearly Gospel-saturated society. I do not mean that nearly everyone in America is saved. For among a given society or people, the sole guarantee is that "only a remnant of them will be saved," just as with Israel (Romans 9:27), and as Jesus says, those who are saved will be few (Luke 13:23-24; cf. vs. 25-30; Mt. 7:14; 22:14). But for the very reason that only a remnant is saved, we can say that America is a nearly Gospel-saturated society, since its remnant is rather large (and its "remnant" is even larger: 45% of US adults consider themselves born again and/or evangelical, according to Barna).

But who's to say what specific percentage of a society will be saved? And even if you could, how could you know what percentage of the society is true believers, not just so-called Christians?

Granted, nobody really knows those percentages. But if the Gospel were still to make significant progress in America, would we not see people coming to faith in at least semi-significant numbers? Yet, most are agreed that Americans coming to faith today are few in number.

But what about the Adoniram Judsons of the world? Didn't Judson labor all his life to see only 6 converts before he died? Yet today there are millions of believers in Burma because of God's work through him. Wouldn't that have appeared to him like the Gospel were making no headway?

Yes, but there is a key difference between today's America and Judson's Burma. In Judson's day, there remained yet to be fulfilled the promises of Scripture: there will be a remnant of Burmese people ransomed by Jesus' blood, one day standing before the throne and before the Lamb in worship, just as there will be from every nation, tribe, people, and language (Rev. 5:9; 7:9). But in America, a remnant numbering millions has already satisfied these promises. There are no more guarantees from Scripture about more Americans being saved.*

How precious, though, the promises concerning the unreached! They reveal to us God's good pleasure that He will certainly accomplish among them. As for us, in trying "to discern what is pleasing to the Lord" (Eph. 5:10) and understanding "what the will of the Lord is" (5:17), let us also act accordingly. For Jesus has commanded that we go and that we make disciples of all nations (Mt. 28:19). He has testeified that all authority is His, that He will be with us, and, through His Word, that there will be converted disciples among the yet unreached.

"Go into all the world and proclaim the gospel to the whole creation" (Mark 16:15).

*I do not include in this description of Americans those unevangelized and even unreached peoples living among us (e.g. Tibetans, Somalians, Saudi Arabians, etc.). Whoever evangelizes them has become a missionary right here in America. But those are not generally the people many American Christians speak of when they mention evangelism here.

Whoever Loves His Life

2006-12-24T09:40:00.000-07:00

"Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life" (John 12:25).

There are two senses in which it is true that "whoever loves his life loses it." In one sense, it contrasts the one who "hates his life in this world [and thereby keeps] it for eternal life": the contrary person loves his life in this world and thereby loses it for eternal life.

But in another sense, the one who "hates his life in this world" is the one who ultimately "loves his life." Such a one loves it enough to lose it in this world and gain it eternally.

Thus, "whoever loves his life [eternally] loses it [in this world]."
And "whoever loves his life [in this world] loses it [eternally]."

Thoughts on Epistemology of God

2006-12-15T17:45:00.000-07:00

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts" (Isaiah55:8-9).

If this is true, and His ways are infinitely higher than my ways, and His thoughts than mine also, then are the heavens infinite above the earth? "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher..." Or is this where analogy and human understanding are limited?

Because if it's true that the heavens are infinite above the earth, and space has no end, then the analogy explains even more. For the heavens include everything above the earth's surface: from the troposphere we breathe around us to the exosphere. Then beyond the atmosphere, the planets and sun. Then beyond the solar system, the stars. And then the galaxies, and then the infinite universe further still. Likewise, we are able to know and experience intimately the nearness of God just as the air we breathe, while the infinite beyond remains virtually unexplored by comparison.

We've all heard the freshman philosopher who, unlike the scientist, has declared that the unknown beyond the quasars proves the universe inscrutable, while he forgets the ground he walks on. Likewise, the agnostic and the Muslim alike forget that the Transcendent is omnipotently able to be immanent.

"He spreads out the northern skies over empty space;
he suspends the earth over nothing.
He wraps up the waters in his clouds,
yet the clouds do not burst under their weight.
He covers the face of the full moon,
spreading his clouds over it.
He marks out the horizon on the face of the waters
for a boundary between light and darkness.
The pillars of the heavens quake,
aghast at his rebuke.
By his power he churned up the sea;
by his wisdom he cut Rahab to pieces.
By his breath the skies became fair;
his hand pierced the gliding serpent.
And these are but the outer fringe of his works;
how faint the whisper we hear of him!
Who then can understand the thunder of his power?" (Job 26:7-14).

See also, or listen to, "Fringes" by Shane and Shane.

The Paul of Islam (updated)

2006-12-15T14:20:00.001-07:00

"I am a Jew, born in Tarsus in Cilicia, but brought up in this city, educated at the feet of Gamaliel according to the strict manner of the law of our fathers, being zealous for God as all of you are this day. I persecuted this Way to the death, binding and delivering to prison both men and women, as the high priest and the whole council of elders can bear me witness. From them I received letters to the brothers, and I journeyed toward Damascus to take those also who were there and bring them in bonds to Jerusalem to be punished" (Acts 22:3-5). Paul was a "Hebrew of Hebrews," not only in line with the strictest teachings of his day, but even educated by Gamaliel himself, a Pharisee "teacher of the law held in honor by all the people" (Philippians 3:4-6; Acts 5:34). He was among the most knowledgeable Old Testament scholars and most radically zealous for God. Even his persecution of Christians was rooted in this zeal, albeit misplaced (Acts 26:9-11; 1 Timothy 1:13). After his conversion, Paul was soon found baffling the Jews in Damascus by proving that Jesus is the Messiah (Acts 9:22). Over the course of his ministry, he "powerfully refuted the Jews in public, showing by the Scriptures that the Christ was Jesus" (Acts 18:28).

Being then one of the most knowledgeable Old Testament scholars, one of the most radically zealous for God (even persecuting Christians), and one of the best contenders of the faith, Paul might rightly be considered the archetypal contender for Jesus from the Jewish perspective. Accordingly, what God provided the Jews through Paul is of great need today among Muslims: a Paul of sorts from the Koranic perspective. And whether this "Paul of Islam" be a specific individual, or a theoretical model for myriads of Muslim-background believers to become, the Gospel would make significant headway through him. He would be a Muslim whose knowledge of the Qur'an is impeccable, whose devotion to Allah is radical (maybe even persecuting Christians and so forth), and whose transformation by Jesus makes him a powerful contender for the faith.

Now in even naming this "Paul of Islam" after Paul, it must be made clear what distinguishes him. For it is reasonable to think that just as the original Paul illuminated truths from his culture's perspective, so also truths can be shown from Islamic culture. This notion is similar to the "redemptive analogy" theory purported by author and missionary Don Richardson: "the idea that each culture has some story, ritual, or tradition that can be used to illustrate and apply the Christian gospel message" (Staub, Feb. 2003). In fact, Richardson himself addresses Islam in relation to this notion. In an interview with Christianity Today's Dick Staub, he says, "I approached the Qur'an after 9/11, and I began to study it intensively to see if the redemptive analogy approach could work for Christians to approach Muslims winsomely. But I found that everything that a Christian would use of redemptive analogy to lead a person to God was already redefined in the Qur'an by Muhammad in a way that made the redemptive analogy approach not work" (qtd. in Staub, Feb. 2003). Richardson has furthermore written a whole book on the subject entitled Secrets of the Qur'an.

So, it must be understood that there is one major difference between the "Paul of Islam" and the historical Paul: the scriptures they are experts in. The original Paul was studying the God-inspired, inerrant Old Testament (2 Timothy 3:16; 2 Peter 1:20-21). The Qur'an is nothing of the sort. While it is debated whether the book is actually demonically inspired or merely empty human writings, it is at least certain that the Qur'an is not the infallible, God-breathed text, which the Old Testament is.

However, though there be no explicit "redemptive analogy" in the Qur'an, it can nonetheless be used to point to Jesus. Whatever its falsehoods about Jesus, these errors can be brought to light, especially by an expert, such as a former imam. Accordingly, the Qur'an's errors and the Bible's truths can be used to show that Jesus is the Christ. Moreover, while the Qur'an denies the great Truth, namely, who Jesus truly is, it nonetheless shares far more theological truths with Christianity than any other religion, Judaism aside. It teaches monotheism, anti-idolatry, a largely Mosaic law, and even makes claims about God's holiness, sovereignty, and mercy. From this ground, the foundation for the Gospel is set much more readily for a Muslim than perhaps a Buddhist who may never have considered such things. Not only so, but from all the details of such truths, a Muslim expert in the Qur'an would be much more capable of explaining the Gospel from the Qur'an-rooted perspective, which his kinsmen would share.

Furthermore, he would also be most capable of rightly expounding on Koranic verses which happen to be true, and rejecting false presumptions his people have about them. For example, the Qur'an says of God in Sura III:3,

"And He sent down the Law
(Of Moses) and the Gospel
(Of Jesus) before this [Qur-an],
As a guide to mankind,
And He sent down the Criterion
(Of judgment between right and wrong) [sic]."

However, the general consensus among Muslims is that the Torah and Gospels, as they are today, are corrupted versions of the originals, and therefore untrustworthy. Yet, a former imam believer would be able to use this verse to his advantage, explaining it in right context and Muslim perspective, combined with the associated apologetics for the validity of the preserved Scriptures. By such means, this "Paul of Islam" could powerfully refute Muslims in public, showing that the Christ was Jesus.

If he does so, he will also face much of the kind of life Paul himself faced: great labors, imprisonments, countless beatings, often near death, and finally put to death. Paul says, "I received at the hands of the Jews the forty lashes less one. Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked; a night and a day I was adrift at sea; on frequent journeys, in danger from rivers, danger from robbers, danger from my own people, danger from Gentiles, danger in the city, danger in the wilderness, danger at sea, danger from false brothers; in toil and hardship, through many a sleepless night, in hunger and thirst, often without food, in cold and exposure" (2 Corinthians 11:23-29). In maybe the most difficult field remaining for the Gospel to breakthrough, namely the Muslim world, certainly much of the same can be expected.

But there is assurance to those who face such things: Jesus says, "they will lay their hands on you and persecute you, delivering you up to the synagogues [perhaps mosques] and prisons, and you will be brought before kings and governors for my name's sake. This will be your opportunity to bear witness. Settle it therefore in your minds not to meditate beforehand how to answer, for I will give you a mouth and wisdom, which none of your adversaries will be able to withstand or contradict [like Paul]. You will be delivered up even by parents and brothers and relatives and friends, and some of you they will put to death [like the Muslim world]. You will be hated by all for my name's sake. But not a hair of your head will perish. By your endurance you will gain your lives" (Luke 21:12-19; see also Matthew 10:16-22). There is a promise addressed to Jesus concerning the reward of His sufferings in the Muslim world: "you were slain, and by your blood you ransomed people for God from every tribe and language and people and nation" (Revelation 5:9), from the nation of Morocco to Indonesia, from Saudi Arabia's people to Malaysia's, from the Farsi language to Turkmen, and from the Bedouin tribes to China's Dongxiang. Through the various Pauls and other Muslims He works through, the Gospel's success in the world of Islam is guaranteed: in heaven there will be "a great multitude that no one could number, from every nation, from all tribes and peoples and languages, standing before the throne and before the Lamb, clothed in white robes, with palm branches in their hands, and crying out with a loud voice, 'Salvation belongs to our God who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb!'" (Revelation 7:9).

Ali, A. Yusuf. The Glorious Qur'an. 2nd ed. American Trust Publications, 1977.

Richardson, Don. Secrets of the Koran. Regal Books: 2003. (excerpt: Introduction: From Peace Child to the Koran).

Staub, Dick. "The Dick Staub Interview: Why Don Richardson Says There's No 'Peace Child' for Islam." Christianity Today. Feb. 2003. 27 Oct. 2006. <>.

Quotable Elliot

2006-12-12T21:05:00.000-07:00

I think there is nothing so startling in all the graces of God as His quietness. When men have raged untruths in His Name, when they have used the assumed authority of the Son of God to put to death His real children, when they have with calloused art twisted the Scriptures into fables and lies, when they have explained the order of His creations in unfounded theories while boasting the support of rational science, when they, using powers He grants them, claim universal autonomy and independence, He, this great silent God, says nothing! His tolerance and love for His creature is such that, having spoken in Christ, in conscience, in code of law, He waits for men to leave off their bawling and turn for a moment to listen to His still, small voice of Spirit. Now, after so long a time of restrained voice, bearing in Almighty meekness the blasphemies of His self-destroying creatures, now, how shall break upon the ears, consciousness, hearts, and minds of reprobate men the voice of One so long silent?

It shall thunder with the force of offended righteousness; rage with lightning bolts upon the seared consciences; roar as the long-crouched lion upon dallying prey; leap upon, batter, destroy, and utterly consume the vain reasonings of proud humankind; ring as the battle shout of a strong, triumphant, victory-tasting warrior; strike terror and gravity to souls, more forcefully than tortured screams in the dead of the night!

O God, what shall be the first tones of Your voice again on earth? And what their effect? Wonder and fear, denizens of dust, for the Lord Himself shall descend from heaven with a battle cry, with the voice of the archangel, and the trumpet blast of God Himself, made more terrible, if that could be, by the long-suffering of His silence. (Jim Elliot, Shadow of the Almighty, 111)

"The armchair American, untrained in brutality, will find palpable the honeyed lie of the False Prophet. Neo-Orthodoxy will be the rage; church union the patriotism, God the common topic of conversation, but not Paul's orthodoxy, nor Christ's church, nor my God. 'The people imagine a vain thing!'" (Jim Elliot, Shadow of the Almighty, 116).

to be added to...

2 Albums: China Pics

2006-12-02T19:55:00.000-07:00

Top 100 Qinghai Pics

Top 50 Hunan Pictures

Pics and Writings

2006-12-02T19:08:00.000-07:00

My pics

My formal writing

Bread for the World

2006-12-02T18:33:00.000-07:00

The United Nations Development Program estimates that the basic health and nutrition needs of the world's poorest people could be met for an additional $13 billion a year. Animal lovers in the United States and Europe spend more than that on pet food each year (source: Bread for the World).

Urgent Plea for 'Frontier Missionaries'

2006-11-26T09:55:00.000-07:00

In a statement entitled "An urgent plea for new 'Frontier Missionaries' to be sent from the Baptist General Conference," the BGC (Baptist General Conference) writes:

Cross-cultural ministry could be considered in two broad categories. A Timothy-type missionary will go a great distance to do Christian ministry where the church already exists. A Paul-type missionary makes God's name known among the unreached peoples of the world.
It has been estimated that 80 to 90 percent of North American missionaries are working with Christians. We cannot diminish the sacrifice and preciousness of these ministries. But the utterly critical, uniquely missionary need in the world today is for Paul-type missionaries who will do the pioneer work of evangelism and church planting among those with no access to the saving knowledge of Christ. Career missionaries who will learn the language and culture are needed to do the deeper work of missions and begin churches in unreached areas.

The Baptist General Conference is looking for men and women who will go the distance, even at great sacrifice, for the glory of God among unreached peoples. Within our churches there must be scores who would serve God through frontier missions. Those who answer this call will need unusual encouragement and care by the sending churches of the BGC.

For more on this idea, see also John Piper's "Holy Ambition: To Preach Where Christ Has Not Been Named."

Ponderings on Robots and Puppies

2006-11-25T00:53:00.000-07:00

[I need a lot of help expressing these thoughts better. If you have any suggestions, please comment or email me.]

"Praise the LORD from the earth, you great sea creatures and all deeps, fire and hail, snow and mist, stormy wind fulfilling his word!" (Psalm 148:7-8).

His creations always do all His bidding, and thereby honor Him by their obedience. But it is something else all together when a creature with a will does so.

"Bless the LORD, O you his angels, you mighty ones who do his word, obeying the voice of his word! Bless the LORD, all his hosts, his ministers, who do his will!" (Psalm 103:20).

We can all agree--whether Calvinists, Arminians, in-betweeners, or undecided--we can all agree that God is especially honored by the will that chooses Him (bear with me, Calvinists!). Where it gets hairy is addressing whether sinful man can. But I submit that we can all alike subscribe to the "Robot Analogy": a man is not as honored by the robot he trained to speak praises to him as he is honored by the puppy whose wagging tail and affectionate licks effectually say, "I love you."

For the Calvinist, the "irresistible grace" we speak of is by no means a forced robotic means of bringing a person to "choose" God, since then it would really be no honoring "choice" at all. Rather, it is an irresistibly attractive (do I dare say seductive) God our eyes were opened to and we were winsomely wooed to. Now in speaking thus, I am hesitant to use such terms, first for their sexual connotations and general association with sin, and second for the limitation of the analogy, since the most seductively attractive woman is still resistible (though the deparved man of Proverbs 7 might argue otherwise). [There is some mistake in my thoughts or communication of them here, but I don't yet see it.]

The analogy may have further weakness for us who have ever given our hearts to the seductive woman by lusting or literally (I speak most easily to men here), since the physical (and sinful at that) desires we felt then don't quite correlate withe the spiritual (and most noble) desires for God, which might in some senses seem weaker to us, though we call them "irresistible."

Nonetheless, if it helps anyone understand more of where this Calvinist is coming from, even if only theoretically and philosophically (not yet as emotionally), then I'm glad. For the God I describe needs no robotic manipulation to win the will of man, but only a presentation of Himself.

A Change in Perspective

2006-11-20T12:43:00.000-07:00

“A man is a fool who complains that he cannot enter Eden by five gates at once” (G.K. Chesterton in Orthodoxy). We rightly condemn such a man's complaint. After all, he has the Garden! But who of us has ever realized how often we are that man?

I remember one day in Changsha, China, I ate a spicy Hunan dinner with two friends. That night, I awoke at about 4 AM with great urgency to rush to the bathroom. I squatted over the hole in the floor for about a half hour (or at least I so recall) against the strain of my non-Asian ankles. I went to bed again at about 4:40, and then awoke again to repeat the process at 5, and then again at 6, and 7:30.

I remember the 5 o'clock appointment, looking down at what seemingly should disgust me and thinking, “This is the mercy of God.” Let me explain what I mean. I would ordinarily despair in such a situation. I would bemoan loss of sleep, exhausted leg muscles, sweaty body, upset digestion, and a stinking mess. If not despairing and pitying myself, at best I would still be merely trying to pass the time as quickly and mindlessly as possible, so as to return to bed or whatever other comfort I previously enjoyed. Yet, even this latter perspective is no better, because it foolishly finds solace in the former state of things (Ecclesiastes 7:10) and doesn't recognize what joy (not merely solace) is to be had at present.

However, at that moment, at 5 in the morning, as I looked down at the otherwise disgusting mess, by the grace of God and against all natural thought, I saw it to be the mercy of God and was filled with great joy. This overwhelming consolation made me not merely able to bear it more, but virtually unfazed by it. My joy came in part from realizing that there is nothing good in me and I deserve to be tormented forever for my sins against the King and my belittling of His infinite glory. In fact, two weeks prior, I had experienced a day of doubting my own salvation, and thereby becoming terror-stricken of God’s wrath (which was later followed by the Spirit bearing witness to me through His Word, then an inexplicable joy in God’s mercy and my own salvation). So, being especially painfully aware of the horrors of hell, I felt great gratitude for the merciful position I was in at 5 AM, experiencing far less pain than I deserved.

My joy at that moment was further increased by realizing this: if I had been wallowing in self-pity, I would have received my consolation in full, and wallowed the rest of my time in much discomfort. And even then, I most certainly deserved no better than to be content with the half-pleasure of my self-pity and to be ignorant of that joyous realization, and that by itself would have been immeasurable mercy compared to the punishment I deserve. So, it was mercy enough for God to save me from hell, but what additional grace He gave! He made me realize the joy of my present condition. Soon enough, I began to see everything as the mercy of God—an insight which was itself a gift from Him! And I noticed also how infrequently I realize that. I myself have long been the one who says “I cannot enter Eden by five gates at once,” saying instead “I cannot enter the gate to Paradise unscathed.”

[Now, if you who read this have borne much worse pain than I here describe, and so find my “affliction” trite, please nonetheless bear with this child of suffering who will soon enough be an adult and look back with great joy at the lessons learned in small things. In the meantime, consider if what I say has some value…]

I came to a realization also in that moment concerning us who have much comfort (mattresses not ply boards, western style toilets not holes in the ground, heating in our homes not coats worn indoors, etc.) and little pain (vaccinations to avoid more sickness, easily accessed doctors, anesthesia, centuries of advanced medicine available in the local pharmacy, etc.). I realized that in our plush comforts and infrequent pains, we are comparatively deprived. That is, for those believers who live in the bush, or at least far from our lifestyle, (e.g. many Africans, rural Chinese, the few Tibetan believers) they experience a kind of joy many of us have never known. We with our comforts and the self-pity that is so much more common for us with infrequent suffering—we have received our reward in full. But they whose sufferings and lack of consoling comforts have driven them to despair and thereby forced them to find greater comfort than we've ever known—they experience a joy in the hope of a future grace we've little considered. “[S]et your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ” (1 Peter 1:13). “In [your salvation and God’s mercy] you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ” (1 Peter 1:6-7; see also 1:8, 14; 3:14; 4:12-14).

So, we set our hope on the glories of Christ’s return. But it is not some distant future without comfort now, for we find great comfort in the hope of that future grace, as well as in the joy of the salvation and mercy we’re already experiencing. Furthermore, in this life, “after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you” (1 Peter 5:10). “[T]he Father of mercies and God of all comfort… comforts us in all our affliction... For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too” (2 Cor. 1:3, 5; see also vs. 6-10).

Now, if you have many luxuries and minimal pains (which most, but I dare not say all, Americans also have), as I do too, then pursue with me a biblical self-denial. For it is not a self-denial that finds its solace in pitying itself for losing great things (e.g. our luxuries) and for suffering tough trials (e.g. physical pains). Rather, it exchanges great things for even greater, and minimal pain with consolation for increased pain with outweighing consolation.
Is this my own idea, or is it from the Word? When Peter begins to tell of his self-denial and the disciples', how does Jesus respond? Does He let Peter's self-denial stand as is, to receive pity from those around?

Peter began to say to him, “See, we have left everything and followed you.” Jesus said, “Truly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands, for my sake and for the gospel, who will not receive a hundredfold now in this time, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions, and in the age to come eternal life” (Mark 10:28-30).

In the same way, let’s trade our claims of “I'm going through a lot” and “This sucks” for claims of “I’m doing far better than I deserve to be,” “This is the mercy of God,” and “This current painful trial is consoled by the rewards Jesus promises in this life. How much more so is this trial ‘not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us’ in the age to come” (Romans 8:18).

Now, I do not want to minimize the magnitude of the pain we may suffer. Paul himself does not say to us who suffer less than he does (and than Christ), “You're not suffering as much.” Rather he says, “we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings” (2 Corinthians 1:5). But let's not allow our recognition of the great pain of trials to be an end in itself, or we will have received our consolation in full.

Rather, let as many of us who have put on Christ arm ourselves with this mindset: there is great joy to be had in the face of suffering. Let's deny ourselves ordinary comforts and willingly face difficulty (though not masochistically, lest pain become an end in itself). Let's trade our luxurious comforts for the far outweighing spiritual comforts. Let's recognize every moment, situation, circumstance, trial, relaxation, and all the rest as the mercy of God. Let's trade the mindset that questions why the young ravens had to cry for food for the amazement that He ever fed them at all (Psalm 147:9). Let’s trade the complaint that we cannot enter the gate to Paradise unscathed for the wonder that we enter it whatsoever. For every circumstance truly is better than the eternal hellfire we deserve. But we fare far better than merely escaping hell.

Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good!
Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!
Oh, fear the LORD, you his saints,
for those who fear him have no lack!
The young lions suffer want and hunger;
but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.
-Psalm 34:8-10

Pray (among other commands) and a Response

2006-11-18T13:39:00.000-07:00

Foreword: I might later take the time to make this more coherent, but for the meantime, I at least want to share some of my scattered thoughts...

The lives of my heroes convict me to pray. The following Scriptures don't help alieve that conviction in me...

Pray always:
"pray without ceasing" (1 Thes 5:17)
"ought always to pray" (Luke 18:1)
"be constant in prayer" (Rom 12:12)
"praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication" (Eph 6:18)
"in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God" (Phil 4:6)
"Continue steadfastly in prayer" (Col 4:2)

Pray for people:
"pray for us" (1 Thes 5:25; 2 Thes 3:1; Heb 13:18)
"You also must help us by prayer" (2 Cor 1:11)
"strive together with me in your prayers to God on my behalf" (Rom 15:30)
"keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, and also for me" (Eph 6:18-19)
"I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people" (1 Tim 2:1)

Examples:
"they devoted themselves to... the prayers" (Acts 2:42; cf. 1:14)
"we always pray for you" (2 Thes 1:11)
"Epaphras... always struggling on your behalf in his prayers" (Col 4:12)

This list is not exhaustive, but I think you get the idea.

For about a year now, these commands, combined with my heroes' examples, and the conviction of my conscience have weighed heavily against me. Nothing over this last year more condemns me that I can think of than "you aren't obeying these commands." Some brothers and sisters who tried to help me under the weight of my condemnation said, "You can't uphold all the commandments," but it sounded to me like an excuse, even though my inability to contradict it tending to tell me it's true.

Prayer isn't the only area I've felt condemned for lacking, only the foremost. Others include evangelism, rejoicing always, etc.

I think God is leading me to an answer concerning this depressing, and sometimes seemingly constant, failing struggle of mine. And it's not where I expected it. Even now, He's continuing to lead me, and I don't think I have a full grasp on it, but I have hope...

Today, I was reading The Cross Centered Life by C.J. Mahaney, and I came across this obvious, yet hidden, truth:

Justification is immediate and complete upon conversion. You will never be more justified than you are the first moment you trust in the Person and finished work of Christ. Sanctification is a process. You will be more sanctified as you continue in grace-motivated obedience.

On the one hand, I react to this by saying, "Of course. That's the Gospel; I know that." But in another sense, this is a radically shocking truth! Do you know what this means? We're free!

I stand before God justified once and for all. "we have been made holy through the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ once for all" (Heb 10:10, NIV1).

[Here's where paragraphs start becoming disconnected scattered thoughts...]

I'm free! I'm free from the weight of the commandments. I can do whatever I want. You know why Paul wrote things like Romans 6 ("Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound? By no means!..."), Rom 3:5-8, etc.? Because a right understanding of justification is so shocking it leads you to reconsider your previous assumptions why not to sin, and ask "why not sin?". I am not saying, there is now no reason not to sin, but rather that all our reasons not to before justification hold no water afterwards. If you have never found yourself wondering "why not sin?" then ask yourself if you've ever considering the shocking truth about justification.

I don't need to obey the commandments to be in right standing before God. I obey them for the rewards of doing them; and I avoid disobedience so as to avoid God's discipline--not wrath--for not doing them.

If I'm justified before God, I can even sin as much as I possibly can and it won't put me out of favor with God, or into a need for penitence. Rather, there is a different motive for obedience, and avoiding disobedience:

blessings for obedience: Deut 28
discipline (not curses!) for disobedience: Heb 12....

We must see every command in Scripture and from our conscience through the lens of the Gospel. When I encounter a commandment, I must say, "I am free to obey this, and thereby enjoy the rewards of obedience. I don't need to obey this in order to be in better standing with God. I should only obey this to enjoy the fruits of obedience, and avoid the discipline of disobedience. There is no wrath to avoid." Wrath-avoiding obedience does not sustain. It can never fully satisfy the command.

"you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God" (Col 3:3).

On the largest scale, there is concern for sin even salvifically. Consider Heb 6:4-8 and 10:26-31...[more should be written here]... However, both conclude with 6:9-10 and 10:39, respectively.

Zechariah 3:1-5:

Then he showed me Joshua the high priest standing before the angel of the LORD,
and Satan standing at his right hand to accuse him. And the LORD said to Satan, "The LORD rebuke you, O Satan! The LORD who has chosen Jerusalem rebuke you! Is not this a brand plucked from the fire?" Now Joshua was standing before the angel, clothed with filthy garments. And the angel said to those who were standing before him, "Remove the filthy garments from him." And to him he said, "Behold, I have taken your iniquity away from you, and I will clothe you with pure vestments." And I said, "Let them put a clean turban on his head." So they put a clean turban on
his head and clothed him with garments. And the angel of the LORD was standing
by.

I don't know if Martin Luther actually said this verbatim, but it's nonetheless a great line from the movie Luther:

So when the devil throws your sins in your face and declares that you deserve death and hell, tell him this: "I admit that I deserve death and hell, what of it? For I know One who suffered and made satisfaction on my behalf. His name is Jesus Christ, Son of God, and where He is there I shall be also!"

1. I chose NIV here because other versions use the word "sanctified" with the intended meaning Mahaney means by "justified"

Heartless Calvinism vs. Truthless Compassion

2006-10-31T12:44:00.000-07:00

(Be forewarned: the following are random and disconnected thoughts from my journal)

There are believers who have close friends or beloved family members or know of unreached peoples headed to hell and who thereby can't quite swallow that God is truly just, loving, all-knowing, and sovereign, in the sense Scripture describes anyway, and though they might use those words to describe Him they somewhere deny it a little. "Maybe God just lets them choose; so, those who go to hell chose it and God had nothing to do with it." "Maybe He lets those who don't know about Jesus go to heaven because they never got a chance to hear about Him." Or worse yet, some "believers" say, "Maybe God just doesn't know the horrible things that are going to happen to people; so it's not His fault."

We who are convinced by Scripture of very differing conclusions see their convictions about God's justice, love, omniscience, and sovereignty as too weak. Truly, those convictions are too weak. However, I think that for most of us who are so certainly convinced of these truths, God finds our convictions not strong, but too weak as well.

We set forth truth easily, even whimsically, confident that no one can rightly argue with us, for the truths are set forth so evidently in Scripture. As for myself, I find myself hearing inklings of some younger folk discussing "predestination" and how it works out, or discussing what happens to the Pygmies in Africa who've never heard. I wander into the conversation for a bit, "patiently" listen to both sides, then calmly, politely throw down "the standard of truth." "Bam! There it is. You can't argue with it. It's infalliable." People soon come to the conclusion that my conviction is too strong. Well, it certainly is too something, but strong is not it.

To be our persuasion, our Calvinism need only be stronger than our emotional reaction to reality (such as ompassion for those headed to hell), and for the vast majority of us Calvinists in Christian communities of fat, rich, comfortable America, that's pretty easy. God finds our Calvinist convictions not strong, but too weak. Our convictions are just stronger than the barely beating pulse of compassion we have for the lost. Yet, we find room to critique those who are "too easily swayed by their emotions (and thereby deny some part of Calvinism)," never realizing we are the same as them. We are those too easily swayed by doctrines of truth into a heartless lack of compassion.

You 5-pointers who know you should be humble, but can't figure out how to do it in the face of such powerful undeniable truths: I'd tell you to watch something like "Invisible Children," "Children of the Secret State," or another heart-wrenching documentary, but I fear you've trained yourself not to be dissuaded from the truths you know by limiting the affections you would otherwise have for the damned. If you're like me, when you hear devastating news of a people far away, it either comes across as a statistic, or if it would start to wrench your heart, you cut off such emotions with "comforts" like "well, God is sovereign."

We even know how to "sympathize" as we speak of the Pygmies in Africa who've never heard: we say, "Yes, they all go to hell without Jesus, but I deserve to go there too." Yet, we never feel the weight of what we're saying. It's all to easy to say, "I deserve hell" and never have to consider it in our confidence and assurance of salvation. But when will we say with Paul, "I could wish that I myself were accursed and cut off from Christ for the sake of my brothers" (Romans 9:3)? What a fitting way to begin the most referenced chapter of Calvinists.

We need compassionate Calvinists.

The Paul of Islam, and Don Richardson's "Secrets of the Koran"

2006-10-27T13:23:00.000-06:00

In his day, Saul was among the most knowledgeable Old Testament scholars and most radically zealous for God (Philippians 3:4-6). In his own words: "I am a Jew, born in Tarsus in Cilicia, but brought up in this city, educated at the feet of Gamaliel [a Pharisee "teacher of the law held in honor by all the people" (Acts 5:34)] according to the strict manner of the law of our fathers, being zealous for God as all of you are this day. I persecuted this Way [Christianity] to the death, binding and delivering to prison both men and women, as the high priest and the whole council of elders can bear me witness. From them I received letters to the brothers, and I journeyed toward Damascus to take those also who were there and bring them in bonds to Jerusalem to be punished" (Acts 22:3-5). Saul's persecution of Christians was rooted in his zeal for God, though based in an ignorant understanding of Him, as he says elsewhere, "I myself was convinced that I ought to do many things in opposing the name of Jesus of Nazareth. And I did so in Jerusalem. I not only locked up many of the saints in prison after receiving authority from the chief priests, but when they were put to death I cast my vote against them. And I punished them often in all the synagogues and tried to make them blaspheme, and in raging fury against them I persecuted them even to foreign cities" (Acts 26:9-11). He also says, "formerly I was a blasphemer, persecutor, and insolent opponent... I had acted ignorantly in unbelief" (1 Timothy 1:13).

Soon after his conversion, "Saul increased all the more in strength, and confounded the Jews who lived in Damascus by proving that Jesus was the Christ" (Acts 9:22). Later as a missionary in Ephesus, Saul (by then called Paul) "entered the synagogue and for three months spoke boldly, reasoning and persuading them about the kingdom of God" (Acts 19:8). In general, Paul "powerfully refuted the Jews in public, showing by the Scriptures that the Christ was Jesus" (Acts 18:28).

Being then one of the most knowledgeable Old Testament scholars, one of the most radically zealous for God (even persecuting Christians), and one of the best contenders of the faith, Paul might rightly be considered the archetype contender for Jesus from the Old Testament perspective.

As I have contemplated the world of Islam, I have been wondering for a few months now if there might be a Paul of sorts there. If not, it is my prayer that God would raise up a Muslim for the Islamic world whose knowledge of the Koran is impeccable, whose devotion to Allah is radical (maybe even persecuting Christians and so forth), and whose transformation by Jesus makes him a powerful contender for the faith.

Thinking along these lines, that there might be Muslim who can prove Jesus is the Christ by his knowledge of the Koran, I also started considering if this might be similar to Don Richardson's "redemptive analogy" thesis: "the idea that each culture has some story, ritual, or tradition that can be used to illustrate and apply the Christian gospel message" (see Christianity Today, February 2003 for a paragraph more on this, or Introduction: From Peace Child to the Koran for a few pages more (esp. pp. 1-3), or Eternity in Their Hearts and Peace Child for a few books more on it). I figured if there is a Muslim Paul of sorts, he might find in the Koran where the redemption story is laid out and unintentionally (at least on Muhammad's part) points to Jesus.

Richardson himself refutes such a notion, as I discovered in an article Rachel recently emailed me. He has furthermore written a whole book on the subject entitled Secrets of the Koran, an excerpt of which I found helpful. In an interview with Dick Staub he says, "I approached the Qur'an after 9/11, and I began to study it intensively to see if the redemptive analogy approach could work for Christians to approach Muslims winsomely. But I found that everything that a Christian would use of redemptive analogy to lead a person to God was already redefined in the Qur'an by Muhammad in a way that made the redemptive analogy approach not work" (Christianity Today, February 2003).

This set me to reevaluate this theoretical "Paul of Islam" I've been hoping for. There is one major difference between him and the original Paul: the scriptures they are experts in. The original Paul was studying the God-inspired, infallible Old Testament (2 Timothy 3:16; 2 Peter 1:20-21). The Koran is nothing of the sort (which is true no matter which view of the Koran we as Bible-believers hold: that the Koran is actually inspired by Satan or a demon, or that the Koran is merely empty human writings, or some combination therein).

But my hopes are not crushed. Though there may be no "redemptive analogy" in the Koran, it can nonetheless be used to point to Jesus. I haven't yet studied it well enough, but I know that whatever its errors, they can be brought to light, especially by an expert in them. And in this I retain my hope for a "Paul of Islam," who can powerfully refute Muslims in public, showing by the false Koran and by the true Scriptures that the Christ was Jesus.

If he does so, he will also face much of the kind of life Paul himself faced: great labors, imprisonments, countless beatings, and often near death. Paul says, "I received at the hands of the Jews the forty lashes less one. Three times I was beaten with rods. One I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked; a night and a day I was adrift at sea; on frequent journeys, in danger from rivers, danger from robbers, danger from my own people, danger from Gentiles, danger in the city, danger in the wilderness, danger at sea, danger from false brothers; in toil and hardship, through many a sleepless night, in hunger and thrist, often without food, in cold and exposure" (2 Corinthians 11:23-29). In maybe the most difficult field remaining for the Gospel to breakthrough, the Muslim world, surely much of the same can be expected.

But there is a promise to those who face such things: Jesus says, "they will lay their hands on you and persecute you, deliving you up to the synagogues [or maybe mosques?] and prisons, and you will be brought before kings and governors for my name's sake. This will be your opportunity to bear witness. Settle it therefore in your minds not to meditate beforehand how to answer, for I will give you a mouth and wisdom, which none of your adversaries will be able to withstand or contradict [sound like Paul?]. You will be delivered up even by parents and brothers and relatives and friends, and some of you they will put to death [sound like the Muslim world?]. You will be hated by all for my name's sake. But not a hair of your head will perish. By your endurance you will gain your lives" (Luke 21:12-19; see also Matthew 10:16-22).

There is a promise concerning the Gospel getting to the Muslim world: Jesus says, "this gospel of the kingdom will be proclaimed throughout the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come" (Matthew 24:14).

There is a promise concerning Jesus' blood for the Muslim world: the words to Jesus: "you were slain, and by your blood you ransomed people for God from every tribe and language and people and nation" (Revelation 5:9), including every Muslim nation (think Middle East), every language (think Indonesia), every people (think -stan's), and every tribe (think the rest).

And there is a promise about the Gospel's success in the Muslim world: in heaven there will be "a great multitude that no one could number, from every nation, from all tribes and peoples and languages, standing before the throne and before the Lamb, clothed in white robes, with palm branches in their hands, and crying out with a loud voice, 'Salvation belongs to our God who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb!'" (Revelation 7:9).

God's Compassion in the Scriptures

2006-10-12T10:05:00.000-06:00

First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way. This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth (1 Timothy 2:1-4).

The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance (2 Peter 3:9).

but, though he cause grief, he will have compassion according to the abundance of his steadfast love; for he does not willingly afflict or grieve the children of men (Lamentations 3:32-33).

In His own words:

"Have I any pleasure in the death of the wicked, declares the Lord GOD, and not rather that he should turn from his way and live?" (Ezekiel 18:23).

"For I have no pleasure in the death of anyone, declares the Lord GOD; so turn, and live" (Ezekiel 18:32).

Say to them, As I live, declares the Lord GOD, I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but that the wicked turn from his way and live; turn back, turn back from your evil ways, for why will you die, O house of Israel? (Ezekiel 33:11).

"I know their sufferings" (Exodus 3:7).

"Is Ephraim my dear son? Is he my darling child? For as often as I speak against him, I do remember him still. Therefore my heart yearns for him; I will surely have mercy on him" (Jeremiah 31:20).

"How can I give you up, O Ephraim? How can I hand you over, O Israel? How can I make you like Admah? How can I treat you like Zeboiim? My heart recoils within me; my compassion grows warm and tender" (Hosea 11:8).

And when the angel stretched out his hand toward Jerusalem to destroy it, the LORD relented from the calamity and said to the angel who was working destruction among the people, "It is enough; now stay your hand" (2 Samuel 24:16).

"O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to it! How often would I have gathered your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you would not!" (Matthew 23:37).

And when he drew near and saw the city, he wept over it, saying, "Would that you, even you, had known on this day the things that make for peace! But now they are hidden from your eyes" (Luke 19:41-42).

he became impatient over the misery of Israel (Judges 10:16).

Scripture, Fruit, and Other Such Things

2006-10-11T13:39:00.000-06:00

I have been learning new things from Scripture. These days, I'm hungry for it, though maybe not constantly, frequently enough that it happens. "Behold, I long for your precepts" (Psalm 119:40). My soul cries, "Open my eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of your law" (119:18). My eyes have been opened to precious gems, and my soul to precious truths. "How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth" (119:103).

I have great joy as I learn new things from the word. I feel set apart from the Pharisees, whose studies of the Scriptures left them dead in sin, and not producing fruits. Yet, there is a grave danger in realizing that. For in another sense, I am a Pharisee.

I have put all my hope in joy from the living word, and forgotten this: It may be that love, as 1 Cor 13 describes, is only real love if it has truth ("rejoices with the truth"). But truth can be real truth, yet totally devoid of love. In all my joy to receive the implanted word, I had unknowingly become a hearer (and an excited one at that), yet not a doer. Will my excitement to receive the implanted word be immediate joyful reception with no fruit borne (Matthew 13:20), or hearing with understanding that bears manifold fruit (13:23)?

Beware, O Christian hedonists, that you do not put your hope in joy. Joy is good, but no guarantor of fruit. Beware, you gifted in faith, that you do not assume your life of faith--even you who remove of a mountains--do not assume that your life of faith proves a godly life. You missionaries, be careful, even you who are ready to live in destitute poverty, and you who desire martyrdom. And you, whose charismatic gifts abound, hear the warnings of Scripture:
"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing" (1 Cor 13:1-3).

(see all the fruits of the Spirit: Galatians 5:22-23).

As for me:
"I have uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know" (Job 42:3).
"Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it" (Psalm 139:6).

David's example:
"O LORD, my heart is not lifted up; my eyes are not raised too high; I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me. But I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with it mother; like a weaned child is my soul within me" (Psalm 131:1-2).

Sacrifice and Missions

2006-09-20T14:19:00.001-06:00

David Livingstone, a career missionary to Africa, visited Cambridge University in December 4, 1857 and there gave a speech to the students:

For my own part I have never ceased to rejoice that God has appointed me to such an office. People talk of the sacrifice I have made in spending so much of my life in Africa. Can that be called a sacrifice which is simply paid back as a small part of a great debt owing to our God, which we can never repay? Is that a sacrifice which brings its own blest reward in healthful activity, the consciousness of doing good, peace of mind, and a bright hope of a glorious destiny hereafter? Away with the word in such a view and with such a thought! It is emphatically no sacrifice. Say rather it is a privilege. Anxiety, sickness, suffering, or danger now and then with a foregoing of the common conveniences and charities of this life, may make us pause and cause the spirit to waver and the soul to sink; but let this only be for a moment. All these are nothing when compared with the glory which shall be revealed in and for us. I never made a sacrifice.

I beg to direct your attention to Africa. I know that in a few years I shall be cut off in that country, which is now open; do not let it be shut again! I go back to Africa to try to make an open path for commerce and Christianity; do you carry out the work which I have begun. I leave it with you.

Ashamed of the Gospel

2006-09-19T23:33:00.000-06:00

Paul's words well express my claims and emphases over the last few months: "I am not ashamed of the gospel" (Romans 1:16). First, it was missions, persecution, and martyrdom. My thoughts were such as "I want to be ready to go to the ends of the earth for the gospel. And though I'd need the Lord's help, I'm even ready to face whatever beatings or imprisonment I may face. Though I'd very much need His help, I'm ready to die for Him." And my theme to others was that we need to start living like it. Then I started saying things like, "Hey, I've been calling people to step out of their comfort and go do missions, but we're not even doing bold evangelism here. We need to be bold and unashamed, starting here."

Peter, James, and John spoke similarly. Jesus said to James and John, "'Are you able to drink the cup that I drink, or to be baptized with the baptism with which I am baptized?' And they said to him, 'We are able'" (Mark 10:38-39). "Peter said to [Jesus], 'Even though they all fall away, I will not.'... he said emphatically, 'If I must die with you, I will not deny you'" (Mark 14:28,30). "Peter said to him, 'Lord, I am ready to go with you both to prison and to death'" (Luke 22:33). "Peter said to him, 'Lord, why can I not follow you now? I will lay down my life for you'" (John 13:37).

I sure got the talk down, even from heartfelt, passionate zeal. But the Lord has recently been showing me what a lie I live. My life has little spoken His glory to the lost, and on the occasions it does, how timidly and ashamedly at that. Generally, my life is a farce.

Today, it was made plain to me, as I'm sure it was to Peter on his day, that all along these claims, though sincerely heartfelt and zealous, were false (though all the more dramatically for Peter). In Chinese class today, the teacher asked me in Chinese, "What do you like to study most?" The immediate obvious answer in my head was: "This is my opportunity that I've been waiting for and too timid thus far to initiate myself. I should say, 'I like to study the Bible most.'" Then came the lies inside my head: "Oh, you'll sound self-righteous. You don't know the Chinese for that. You would expose your real reason for learning Chinese, and it might hamper your ability to go there." All of these had their reasonable answers: "I would maybe seem self-righteous in a class of believers, but this is a class of nonbelievers. I do know the Chinese for it (sheng jing). Nothing can stop the one whose calling is wrought by God (consider for example Brother Andrew leaving Bibles in plain view as he smuggled them into communist countries)." In a split second decision, I said, "I like to study Chinese most."

I looked down, and knew I'd lied. But the sin of the lie was minor in comparison to its motivation: I am ashamed of the gospel.

"For whoever is ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, of him will the Son of Man also be ashamed when he comes in the glory of his Father with the holy angels" (Mark 8:28).
I want to proclaim the illegal and persecuted truths of the gospel to the remotest ends of the earth, yet I can't even say I'm a Christian in the freedom of America. "One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much, and one who is dishonest in a very little is also dishonest in much" (Luke 16:10).
"If you have raced with men on foot, and they have wearied you, how will you compete with horses? And if in a safe land you are so trusting, what will you do in the thicket of the Jordan?" (Jeremiah 12:5).

Today is not an isolated event. Today is the culmination and visual demonstration of my lifestyle most of my life thus far.

Yet, ironically, today is the day of God's mercy: "now is the time of God's favor" (2 Corinthians 6:2). Why? Because there is hope. And not "hope" in some sense of "I may have a chance." "Hope" in the sense that "faith is the assurance of things hoped for" (Hebrews 11:1).

Today, the Holy Spirit convicted me deeply, and not about an isolated sin, but about a lifestyle. The isolated sin just demonstrated my lifestyle. By the mercy of God, I was in such situation that I might be shaken to my core, and no longer continue content in complacency. It was sin before, but now I know it fully, being shown to me in plain sight. "So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin" (James 4:17).

Today, I later learned from Revelation 2:4-5 that a mere recognition of the height from which I have fallen is not enough. Before I can begin to do the works I did at first, I must repent.

By the mercy of God, Peter went on to be a leader of the early church (Acts 1:15-22), as well as to boldly proclaim the gospel in Jerusalem (2:14-41) and among the first Gentile believers (10:34-43). By the mercy of God, he was arrested (4:3), imprisoned (5:18; 12:4-5), beaten (5:40), and ultimately martyred (John 21:19).

By the mercy of God, my sin does not dictate my destiny. On the contrary, "those whom he foreknew he also predesinted to be conformed to the image of his Son" (Romans 8:29). The Father "disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness" (Hebrews 12:10).

Psalm 32 Thoughts

2006-09-19T23:29:00.000-06:00

Psalm 32
A Maskil of David.

1Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven,
whose sin is covered.
2Blessed is the man against whom the LORD counts no iniquity,
and in whose spirit there is no deceit.

3For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away
through my groaning all day long.
4For day and night your hand was heavy upon me;
my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer.
Selah

5I acknowledged my sin to you,
and I did not cover my iniquity;
I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the LORD,"
and you forgave the iniquity of my sin.
Selah

6Therefore let everyone who is godly
offer prayer to you at a time when you may be found;
surely in the rush of great waters,
they shall not reach him.
7You are a hiding place for me;
you preserve me from trouble;
you surround me with shouts of deliverance.
Selah

8I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will counsel you with my eye upon you.
9Be not like a horse or a mule, without understanding,
which must be curbed with bit and bridle,
or it will not stay near you.

10Many are the sorrows of the wicked,
but steadfast love surrounds the one who trusts in the LORD.
11Be glad in the LORD, and rejoice, O righteous,
and shout for joy, all you upright in heart!

Who is “the man against whom the LORD counts no iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit” (v. 2)? Well, a man whom God counts no sin against is a justified man, a righteous man, having no sin or falsehood. So who is this righteous man, who has no sin against him? Ask a Jew or read the law: it seems evident from Scripture that the righteous man is the one who has obeyed the law and has no sin counted against him. He is attributed with righteousness having earned it by working to obey the law. Romans 4:4 puts it this way “Now to the one who works, his wages are not counted as a gift but as his due.” He has earned righteousness by obeying the law.

But verse 2 of Psalm 32 says, “Blessed is the man against whom the LORD counts no iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit.” That is to say that the man who has no sin or falsehood charged against him, the righteous man, did not earn that stance before God. Rather he has been blessed; he has received a blessing; Another has chosen to bless him (the word “blessed” sometimes sounds too spiritually ethereal, especially when pronounced with 2 syllables; try pronouncing it “blest” and thinking of it as the past tense of bless). The sentence makes an absolute statement concerning anyone counted righteous before God: “Blessed” is such a man. Not “obedient” is such a man. Not “wage-earning” is such a man. “Blessed” is such a man; “gift-receiving” is such a man. This rules out the one whose righteousness is earned, whose “wages are not counted as a gift but as his due” (Romans 4:4).

The Septuagint reinforces this notion: “blessed is the man against whom the Lord will not count his sin” (Rom 4:8 quoting Ps 32:2 ). It says “his sin” about the righteous man, whom God counts no sin against. Therefore, the righteous man is one who does have sin (or rather had sin).

Verse 1 of Psalm 32 further reinforces this idea. This blessed one is not one who never had sin, but “the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered.” The one whose transgression is forgiven is the one whose breaking of the law is not counted against him as having broken the law. Therefore, being counted righteous (counted as having never broken the law) cannot have come to such a man by obedience to the law, since he after all broke the law, requiring forgiveness.

This idea can be further explored in Romans 4, as Paul proves that the righteousness the Old Testament speaks of is only ever by faith. He is even so bold as to claim that David, who wrote Psalm 32, was speaking of the righteous man as “the one who does not work” (Rom 4:5). This is just preposterous! The righteous man is the one who does not do works of the law? The righteous man is the one who does not obey the law? Yes, that’s what David said. But you can read Romans 4 if you want to know more about that.

Psalm 32 continues,
“When I kept silent about my sin, my body wasted away
Through my groaning all day long.
For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me;
My vitality was drained away as with the fever heat of summer” (v. 3-4, NASB).

We all know these days. I have known them pretty intimately lately. Wasting away in dryness and a total lack of zeal and love for the Lord, I groan and moan, and the day gets harder. The discipline of the Father comes, and I utterly despair. I’m at my wit’s end. “Why, O Lord?” and “How long, O God?” became frequent thoughts. Sometimes also are questions like: “Why can’t I draw near to You, Father?”, “Why can’t I overcome my sin?”, “Why am I wasting away my day in worthless things?”, “Why can’t I muster up the desire to seek you God?”

And when was all this happening? “When I kept silent about my sin” (v. 3). When does it finally end?

Verse 5: “I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to the LORD,’ and you forgave the iniquity of my sin.”

Oh, how sweet that moment is! The burden is gone, the joy flows back in!

But I tell you, I despair in that moment I can’t find Him. I say, “Why don’t I desire You, Lord? I know in my head that You are all-satisfying, and that all Your promises are true (such as “whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst” in John 6:35). But I’m really hungry right now. I’m really dissatisfied and joyless.” Other times, it’s “I know I need to repent, but I just frankly don’t know how. I could say I’m sorry, and ask for forgiveness, but they’d just be words. Such repentance just isn’t flowing from my heart.” It may go on for hours, or days, or longer. But then at some point, something changes. The repentance isn’t mustered up, it just flows. A verse is recalled, or a truth is understood, or the goodness of God is overwhelmingly realized, and repentance just flows. It’s sweet enough, I start to forget how miserable the situation was. But next time it happens, I haven’t forgotten.

So, how to prevent those moments that make access to Him impossible? Verse 6 certainly affirms my concern: “surely in the rush of great waters, they shall not reach him.” In that rush of great waters, I certainly didn’t find him. I was overwhelmed and despaired. As another psalmist expresses it, “Deep calls to deep at the roar of your waterfalls; all yours breakers and your waves have gone over me… I say to God, my rock: ‘Why have you forgotten me? Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?’” (Psalm 42:7,9). And in Psalm 69:1-3: “the waters have come up to my neck. I sink in deep mire, where there is no foothold’ I have come into deep waters, and the flood sweeps over me. I am weary with my crying out’ my throat is parched. My eyes grow dim with waiting for my God.”

But verse 6 begins this way: “Therefore let everyone who is godly offer prayer to you at a time when you may be found; surely in the rush of great waters, they shall not reach him.” I know the moments I can pray and reach Him, the times when no present sin oppresses and condemns me, and I have the time to go into that prayer closet away from distraction and find Him. But most often, I don’t. I remember my busy schedule, or breakfast calls my name, or something else tells me to do otherwise. It happens slowly and subtly, but I slip into a rut, and soon enough the water’s up to my ankles, but I try to ignore it. Bit by bit it creeps up and I continue about my business as if it’s not there. Eventually, I can’t ignore it anymore and it’s up to my neck.

“Therefore let everyone who is godly offer prayer to you at a time when you may be found” (v. 6). Isaiah 55:6 says it this way: “Seek the LORD while he may be found; call upon him while he is near.” I therefore give reason why prayer is good. If it already seems burdensome and undesirable, it’s too late to just strive after it. It can’t be gotten. If you try, you will only slip farther into the rut by carrying out duty, not delight in Him.

But all is not lost! It is not hopeless. On the contrary, Isaiah 55 continues after verse 6: “let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; let him return to the LORD, that he may have compassion on him, and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon” (v. 7).

God continues Psalm 32 in first-person: “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you” (v. 8). [comments?]

“Be not like a horse or a mule, without understanding, which must be curbed with bit and bridle, or it will not stay near you” (32:9). Surely, our loving Father will discipline His children back into obedience (Hebrews 12:7-13). We need never fear we might start losing our salvation, if we are His children. He would sooner kill us (and thereby bring us to heaven) than let us stray so far to send ourselves to hell (Paul affirms this in addressing those who are sinning: “many of you are weak and ill, and some have died… But when we are judged by the Lord, we are disciplined so that we may not be condemned along with the world” (1 Cor 11:30,32). Now that’s a loving Father!).

However, while we may be confident that our Father will discipline us back to Himself, why test it? Why do anything to require discipline in the first place? God puts it this way in addressing Israel: “For why should you die, O house of Israel?” (Ezekiel 18:31; 33:11, NKJV). Now, it may not be that we are about to die, but why even test the slightest of His discipline?

“Be not like a horse or a mule, without understanding, which must be curbed with bit and bridle, or it will not stay near you.” How much freer the horse is that obeys his master and never requires his master to put the bit in his mouth. How much freer the dog is that stays in range of his owner so that his owner never feels the need to punish him and leash him.

“Many are the sorrows of the wicked” (v. 10a). Those without God do not just experience a few hours, or a few days, or even a few months of depression and distance from God. Theirs is perpetual. “Many are the sorrows of the wicked”: the emptiness of trying to be satisfied in riches, sex, power, accomplishment, asceticism, indulgence, etc.

On the contrary, our depression and distance from God is temporary, even if it should last years, because all the while we as children still experience blessing. Furthermore, even in the depths of despair, unrecognized goodness surrounds us: “Many are the sorrows of the wicked, but steadfast love surrounds the one who trusts in the LORD” (v. 10). “for those who love God all things work together for good” (Rom 8:28). “The young lions suffer want and hunger; but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing” (Psalm 34:10).

Therefore, if all this is true, then “Be glad in the LORD, and rejoice, O righteous [those blessed by God with forgiveness through faith], and shout for joy, all you upright in heart!” (v. 11).

Matt6:33, Prayer, and Multiplying Time

2006-09-08T10:28:00.000-06:00

This morning, after a duly unsatisfying quiet time, God broke down my pride during prayer. Soon after, I wrote an email about it to some dear siblings. So confident that the Spirit is the One teaching me these things, I have saved them from the email to post here:

"Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you" (Matthew 6:33). I have long claimed this my theme verse and constantly reverted to it in time of need. And yet, during the last week or two, I've fallen into bouts of anxiety, despair, and even depression. You could have told me the very things I finally came to understand this morning all the while, and I wouldn't have argued with you. But they didn't pierce me yet.

Over the last few weeks, after reading in my quiet time, I would think to myself, "I should pray. I believe in the power of prayer." Some mornings, prayer would not come, but a few words. And after them, words just did not flow, and therefore thoughts about my day and its necessary tasks would, and they flooded my mind. Other mornings, prayer would not even begin, because "reading time" had already spilled over into "homework time," and by virtue of "necessity" I needed to forfeit prayer in order to finish my homework on time (which usually barely made it in its rush). Then there's the issue of my job(s). I barely made rent on its due date (down to the dollar), and yet for the last two weeks my life's only breaks from work and school are those scheduled, such as church, Monday night's 72, meetings, college group, etc. (there are a few exceptions). But I haven't felt free to just go hang out with the brothers I used to have such sweet fellowship with at Mountain View, nor to just go meet international students (or any nonbelievers for that matter), which is what my supposed ministry this semester is. But having barely made rent, how could I back down from the hours I'm already working? I have become the very person I always warn people not to be, though from a different angle, so that all the while I didn't realize it. How depressing and unfulfilling it has been.

This morning, by the mercy of Him who destined His children for perpetual mercies (which are new every morning), prayer flowed. Homework still loomed (and even now still does). My bank account still beckons for a job. But prayer seemed more important.

Do I then forfeit the "necessary tasks" and "necessities" of life? The ironic thing is yes, and that's how I gain them. "For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it" (Luke 9:24). The contrapositive (?) is also ironically true: the best-laid plans, hardest strivings, and most diligent discipline never reach what they're straining after. "The Gentiles seek after all these things" (Matthew 6:32). They might even gain the whole world, but forfeit the ability to enjoy it: "For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses or forfeits himself?" (Luke 9:25).

I guess it was only this morning God showed me these things, and I have yet to see the fruit even today. So we'll see how my quiz goes today at 11. But I am confident it will go better for me having sought God first, than if I had studied all morning (though I do not promise that "better" necessarily refers to my grade).

I have long wondered how it is that some of those I look up to are able to do all the things I've been wanting to do, on top of either full-time school or full-time job (or sometimes a combination therein), and live lives marked by much prayer. For example, there are those who are able to read all the books I barely get to, maintain a thriving ministry, keep a full-time job, and be prayerful. There are the Spurgeons who do more in their lifetimes than the most diligent workers could do with 10 lifetimes. "How?" I've thought. "Aren't there 24 hours in a day for everyone? Maybe they just require less sleep than I do [I'd forgotten Psalm 127:2]." This is a staggering truth: there are surely 24 hours in a day, and yet God is able to multiply time to those who seek Him.

"If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me" (Luke 9:23). To deny oneself is not to forfeit everything good and satisfying, and choose the hard, sullen, dissatisfying road. The denying Jesus speaks of is to relinquish your grip on all the things that promise to be good and satisfying but aren't. The following of him, is not sullen and dissatisfying, but life-giving and refreshing. And while it is hard in one sense, it is not the hard, "I'm sacrificing and enduring," kind of path. Rather it is hard in the sense that it is harder for a runner to run faster in his race than to jog at a comfortable pace. And for him who runs harder, he will find more reward, not only in receiving a prize for winning at the end, but also during the race. His reward during the race is that his disciplined running makes running hard enjoyable. The one who jogs more comfortably does not much enjoy running. It's true, ask runners. Therefore, let us daily take up that hard run that we might find satisfaction in the race. Let us deny ourselves the cake that tastes good for the moment, and eat the health food your body thanks you for during all the hours of your run.

Ah, how free it is to relinquish the burden I already couldn't carry. How foolish the world thinks me to put off seeking a job, making homework a priority, and all the tasks life calls for. And how rewarding it is to wait on Him for it all by seeking Him first. He is surely a Rewarder of those who seek Him (Hebrews 11:6). May God be glorified in His saints by the words which flowed from the heart He has mercifully overflowed. "my cup overflows" (Psalm 23:5).

Back from China

2006-07-31T13:32:00.000-06:00

I'm back from China. I'll have a slideshow on here soon.